BIG DADDY & TEAM Go-Riki's Forum

[New Zealand]

Dear Don,

I’m a forty-three-year-old man with two girls. My oldest daughter just turned fifteen. Maybe I haven’t noticed until now, but she seems to have really, um, filled out recently. She looks more like a woman every day, and even older guys are starting to notice.

This makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t know what to tell her about how to deal with men. What should I do?

Hey partner , if you’re looking at your own daughter in the way that makes you notice how she’s “filled out”, you should be uncomfortable. What’s the matter with you? Nevermind, I don’t really want to know.

Look, if you want to know what you should tell your daughter about men, that’s easy. Just tell her she should be glad she’s a woman. Men are simple. They only want one thing, so all she has to do is keep in mind that no matter what they say or do, they’re after that one thing.


Women, on the other hand, are far more complicated. They don’t want one thing. They want one thing now and something else in ten minutes. They want security and they want excitement. They want to change you and then they hate you for having changed. That’s basically how it goes for the rest of your life.

So tell your daughter not to worry. She can deal with men pretty easily if she just remembers what they’re after. And tell her it could be worse: she could be a fifteen-year-old boy trying to figure out how to deal with women. What a disaster that is.

Dear Don,

I’m working on building lean muscle and burning extra fat, but it’s tough. I don’t mind exercising and weightlifting but I love to eat. What should I eat to help me get in shape that doesn’t taste like crap?

I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t have to starve yourself or eat a bunch of hippie health food to get in good shape. I see these people running around eating wheat germ and taking vitamins three or four times a day, and it just confuses the hell out of me.

You know what I do instead of vitamins? I take a steak three or four times a day. Then I wash it down with a beer, maybe some tequila for dessert. Keeps me going strong. So get in the gym and do some work, then eat yourself a big steak and see if you don't feel like a million bucks.

Dear Don,

I get a 401K at my new job. I’m putting 6% into it from each paycheck, and my company is matching that. But I’ve been getting a lot of conflicting advice about how to invest the money so that I’ll get the most out of it when I retire.

My Dad’s telling me that I should put it all in high-risk stocks because I’m still in my 20’s. But some of my co-workers say that’s dangerous and I should diversify so some of my money is secure in safer, but less exciting places. What do you think?

Well, since it’s your money we’re talking about, I say you go high risk. That’s what I usually do. Roll the dice and see what happens. You can’t sit around thinking about all the bad things that might happen. You might save all that money and then die before you can ever spend it. That’d be a sad little joke on you, wouldn’t it?

But if you really want to put your money in safe place that’s also high risk, invest in a company like Haliburton or something. The guys who are ripping everyone off always do well, except you’ve got to get your money out of there before they go belly-up and split for Jamaica, where your retirement fund will end up getting tucked into some cabana boy’s G-string.

Don’t think it can’t happen, partner.
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"Idafreak Say hello to my little friend" - Al Pacino

[New Zealand]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdYvabv54UU
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"Idafreak Say hello to my little friend" - Al Pacino